There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
