dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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