Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
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im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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