just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
