so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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