I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In other news, I just burned my penis
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
