Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just had sex on a roof
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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