A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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