I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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