If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
