I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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