Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
thus making me awesome and them whores
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
