I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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