i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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