I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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