I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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