Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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