The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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