She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
