I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
