you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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