Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she smelled like a LAN party
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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