can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
