My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He felt like a one man threesome
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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