3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
