You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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