i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
