other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize