the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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