omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
