you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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