I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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