What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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