Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
