WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
