She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
