i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
