I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
