Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
