I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
