apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
how drunk are you?
Several
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
