im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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