Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
