They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
