i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
