hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she looked like the before picture.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
