this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
