I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
