You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
