physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
