I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
