In the future we'll all be gay
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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