So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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