just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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