If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
