Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
