i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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