he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
