She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
