i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
