No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
