I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
