How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
