I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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